Saying "No"

I’ve realized this year, I’ve been saying “no” to a lot of opportunities. Also saying “yes” to the ones that i ultimately regret taking. Yet it goes without saying that when one door closes, several more open.

I feel like everything I’ve been through and am still going through now is a test. A test to get closer to my values, my true wants, and what my actual skills are.

I’ve been focusing on my writing for quite a bit since the move, and I’m glad I have. My patreon has seen new subscribers and I’m keeping my content there fairly fresh, updating every week or so with chapters of my current work in progress, JUDGMENT.

I want to expand on my Gothic Lit and Music blog post here, on there, and really go into the themes I’ve been thinking about since the move. Such as the themes in gothic lit and the themes in goth music/lyrics. Most if not all deal with romance, death, mental illness, and more and I would be remiss if I didn’t sit down at some point and suss it all out so it’s out of my head and on the (web)page.

As for THE DARK WORLD series, the last book DRACULA is coming along, if not slowly. Honestly, I believe I mentioned it before or perhaps that was on my Twitter, but I’m tired of THE DARK WORLD, to a point. This is the longest I’ve spent on a novel (two years now?), and I just want to move on to fresh ideas.

I don’t think I’ll do an epic fantasy again, or at least until I can sit down and write it properly the way I need to. Do some research and not just wing it from a 16-year-old brain. Then I feel I’ll be able to do things right.

All this said, I’m about to be very busy writing for two different companies—articles and for a magazine—and I’m so excited to delve into that and basically continue what I’ve done with my English Degree: write for general and specific audiences.

Here’s another thing I’ve learned that ties into my early point about saying no when you realize something isn’t for you:

If you know you’re not particularly interested in a thing, just being “eager to learn” is not going to cut it. You do have to have a passion in something for it to have meaning in your life and for the work to come easier, if it comes at all.

If there’s no passion, as is the case with a # of things in life, there’s no point. And my lessons have absolutely shown me this to be the case.

I left New York not to fall into the same low thoughts and operating off fear, but to relearn love (the love for myself), and to get in touch with what I actually what to do.

Which I have.

I want to create, I want to write, I want to see the difference my words are making either on the page or on the screen. Social media algorithms are all well and good but there is nothing for me like knowing my words have impacted someone, either through my creative works or through the company I’m writing for.

Don’t get me wrong, if my writing helps you make a decision, brings in that $ we needed, or simply makes you think enough that you leave a comment below it to start a conversation, then my job(s) can never lose meaning.

I’m a writer. Beyond all things, I love to write. And I’m so happy I realized that this year. Nothing else will come close to how words make me feel or how easy it is to string together sentences (on a good day, anyway).


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With Blood and Love 🖤

With Blood and Love 🖤